This post was inspired by John Spencer. He's the third edublogger on my list.* He thinks pretty deeply, and is a geek, which is how I identify myself to the students, because there is no other way to describe how I know what I know. He also is willing to talk about his relationship with God, and that's pretty bold for a teach to do publicly. I admire that.
In my job, I work with kids/teenagers. It's a great job. I enjoy working with learners.
Sometimes however there's a piece of me that feels incomplete, and an utter failure at my job. When something just isn't happening the way I hoped it would. When the atmosphere in the room is tense and ripe with disappoint from all parties. When kids and teachers are sick, tired, and grumpy and need more than what comes out of 65 minutes together in one shared space.
Sometimes I fear my class is boring. Linguistics as a science is not boring to me. Spanish is definitely not boring to me. So I wonder why it all translates that way, some days. Sometimes, we just look at each other.
Spanish spoken nicely enough causes temporary relief, and exuberant chatter and integration of ideas makes life bearable...but....
Sometimes it feels like I lack the secret to making language learning alive, vibrant, verdant, viral.
Sometimes I pray for patience, and I can only hold my attention to the matter for about 5 seconds. Is that long enough to have a serious conversation with God? And I ask these kids to pay attention to me? Sometimes I cry when I feel like a failure.
No wonder it hurts sometimes. Sometimes, not one of us is paying attention.
*Next and probably last I will share Will Richardson