So I wanted to write about pain. About the pain I experience every time I stick my neck out at work and how hard it is for me to articulate what I know to be right. And so I went to my Flickr (naturally) and searched for pain to see if there were any scowls or anything I could find in my stream. (I search my own stuff--I have 17,000 plus items). Flickr has been on my mind a lot lately, given that I am blocked from it at work and all the visual learning that I use it for is blocked. Pardon me for saying so but any one with 17,000 plus items in her stream, many of them educational in nature, is clearly using a visual pathway to learn. And not being able to use Flickr causes me pain because it forces me to speak out loud about how I learn and how I am different. And really, I know I am different. (Anyone who grew up in a living laboratory called a working farm, anyone whose idea of "community service" means "those neighbors on that island in that ocean that we share....close enough" is clearly going to be different). I know I am total Alt Ed all the way (let me learn my way and please don't punish me for not being like you). I know that normal school has never worked for me. (I tried to quit twice, once in seventh, and once in eleventh, and ended up graduating early). And I know that this is painful and I need to talk about it. It's painful because no one should be forced to sit in neat even rows for hours on end doing worksheets. That kind of learning isn't learning. It's painful because I remember the day when I was 16 years old and took responsibility for my own learning. "We can't give you a transcript for junior year." Guess what I learned junior year? Spanish. It's painful because I know how expensive travel is, but virtually, one can travel for free. It's painful because this, and this, and this, all help me teach. And the blockage....it's just painful.
So blah blah blah...I searched for pain on my Flickr and lo and behold it spat back a few loaves of bread...pain is French for bread. And with bread came this photo of the breadmaker's son. And I laughed out loud. And I felt better. And so this blog is therapeutic yet again.
In terms of work and pain, I know it will all pass in time. I know that I need patience among other lacking virtues. I know.
Cross-posted. My school and my emotions intertwine. That is why teaching hurts sometimes--because we teachers have feelings and we spend 90% of the time meeting the needs of others, at work, and we have needs, too.